NOTE: List is in alphabetical order. Scroll down to the definition of term.
Accommodate – In psychological terms, this is similar to redesigning our belief system to allow for new experiences and knowledge. Think of your beliefs as a set of containers. To accommodate a new experience or new idea is to change the group of beliefs or to change the size, shape, and other characteristics of the containers. Accommodation requires rethinking how we view others, ourselves, and life in general. In other terms, accommodation requires a shift in perspective, perception, or both. It sometimes requires us to let go of cherished beliefs in order to allow a different viewpoint on life to emerge for example. Accommodation requires reshaping or discarding “containers” of beliefs, whereas assimilating refers to adding to the existing ones.
Active Listening – Having an open mind and being present to the communication in order to fully understand the content. Active listening may sometimes include repeating what was just said, asking for clarifying comments, or communicating nonverbally through body language in a manner indicating that information was received and understood. Active listening is sometimes associated with the term “beginner’s mind,” which refers to the possession of a mind receptive to another perspective of interpreting an experience or event.
Assimilate – To incorporate new information and experience into a set of beliefs that make up part of our self-identity and world view. Unlike accommodation, to assimilate new ideas and experiences means to place them in the same group of beliefs. Assimilating a new idea or experience is metaphorically like filling existing containers without changing the shape of the container.
Becoming* – The natural course of realizing (actualizing) our potential in life. It can be described as an organic process of growing into what we innately are meant to be, like a bud blossoming into a flower or an acorn eventually expressing itself as a oak tree. An acorn does not have to do anything to become a tree. It simply needs to not block the natural process. In theory, we don’t have to do anything to grow into our full potential except to show up to our experiences in an authentic and natural way. Our coping strategies, our fears, our failed and painful past, and our lack of early life nurturing are among the reasons it can be so challenging to show up. Our psychological make-up results in our consciously or otherwise trying to alter events and experiences from unfolding naturally.
Being* – A state of presence with awareness or mindfulness, of being in the body in order to have a full experience of what is occurring. Being is closely associated with detachment. Detachment is used in the sense of our having access to our full range of feelings and the ability to accept any sensations or impressions that need to surface into awareness before letting them go.
Bio-Psycho-Social – A systems thinking term used by agencies such as hospices that embrace a holistic perspective. It refers to supporting the biological, the psychological, and the social aspects of working with a patient/family unit under hospice care for example.
Cognitive Dissonance – a consequence of psychological stress that happens when beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information. It occurs when we hold two or more contradictory beliefs or values. It is also when our actions or behavior contradict our beliefs and assertions. An example is someone who smokes believing that doing so may cause cancer. The term is used to describe behavior that is inconsistent with belief or self-concept.
Decision Maker – A term used to describe when there is an opportunity to choose between actions and impulses that move one toward or away from a connection with the self, others, and the surrounding environment. Many important decisions in life can be considered to be fundamentally a choice between fear and love. The decision maker inside us is like a piece of our self-awareness that allows us to have ‘an option’ or a freedom to choose a path that moves us closer to a sense of spirituality, defined by meaning and connection, or takes us further away from it. Sometimes poignant moments in life can reflect a contradiction that becomes apparent in our awareness. Such instances of contradiction can pose an option. The part of our sense of self that is aware of an apparent choice around a situation involving a moral or ethical dilemma is the decision maker within. It is analogous in some ways to our conscience. It is what one ought to do.
Diligent (diligence) – Engagement with focused intent and responsible directed attention. Acting diligent may be approached in terms of grounding intention, transferring it into action in life. Actions are most meaningfully accomplished with focused intention; i.e., putting intention into effort to produce outcome. Diligence is the state of mind and being that helps us to realize our dreams.
Empathetic Attunement – Active listening is one method of communication that can lead to empathetic attunement, which is similar to ‘feeling / sensing’ what another is thinking and feeling before they speak to share. Empathetic attunement is a state that facilitates companioning or accompanying another on their journey. It is a way of connecting, supporting, and a consequence of extension through caring.
Existential-Humanistic – This is a type of theoretical orientation and approach used in assessing, addressing, and interacting with clients. Existential refers to meaning in life as well as how we think of ourselves as separate individuals; i.e., our self-identity or self-concept. Humanistic (humanism) refers to a way of communicating and relating. A humanistic approach is one that empowers a person or client and considers their opinions and desires as important in resolving presenting issues. The humanistic perspective is a psychological approach that emphasizes empathy and the positive in human nature.
Holistic – This is a term used to describe systems thinking, which basically states that seemingly separate parts are interconnected/interrelated and influence each other. Another aspect frequently associated with systems or holistic thinking is that the whole is more than the sum of its separate parts. We, as human beings, are more than the sum total of our mind, emotions, body, and sense of self-identity.
Lead by following – The method by which a counselor or facilitator waits to communicate until the client or group participant makes a comment, statement, or in some way reacts/responds to a question or topic. In other terms, the counselor determines what action or next step to take in responding to comments until after receiving verbal/nonverbal communication from the client.
Mindfulness – Knowing what you are doing while you are doing it and not experiencing your life as an afterthought but as an experience in the moment.
Mirroring & Modeling – A way of reflecting back to a client the common emotional reactions, responses and thoughts that are expressed. This is a way of helping a client give themselves permission to feel and think a certain way. Mirroring and modeling is also a way to validate what a client is experiencing. It is a characteristic of humanistic engagement and a way of empowering a client to find his or her voice.
Pain – Aspects of life that are unavoidable. It is a part of the package of being human, of having a body and feelings, and of experiencing transitions. For example, when we bump our elbow or knee hard, we feel pain. When a loved one dies, we feel pain.
Perception – The sensations, feelings, experiences in the moment, and influences from the past. We assess and judge our impulses from sensations; we assign interpretive meaning to events and experiences, both past and present. Our psychological development and ensuing defensive strategies condition our perception. Family of origin dynamics, culture, religion, socio-economic factors, joys, and hurts are some of the elements that condition our perception. Perception can be very seductive in that it appears real regarding feelings and sensations, which are triggered through participating in life or witnessing events. Our perceptions reinforce our beliefs. Or, in other terms, our perception is conditioned by what we believe. We filter incoming data through our beliefs. Thus, whatever is entering our senses, emotions, and faculty of reason will be biased to conform to our beliefs.
Perspective – An attitude we establish and maintain that orients us to a way of interpreting experiences or events. It is affected by our perceptions, though not completely dependent on them. Perception and perspective in a sense co-create each other and influence one another. Setting an intention, i.e. to view life through a particular lens, establishes a perspective. One’s perspective potentially does alter judgement and the way experiences are processed. This in turn potentially alters one’s perception. Similarly, perspective is partly conditioned through psychological development and layered defensive strategies. Perspective may be considered to be more cognitive in characteristic and easier to adjust through greater self-awareness, self-understanding, and intention. Our perspective is open to change more readily than our perception in other words.
Person centered – A focus on the point of view of the client in an attempt to understand experiences from that vantage point. It also refers to encouraging and empowering clients to use their knowledge and experiences to help them resolve issues. Person-centered counseling is collaborative and invites a client’s design input when developing intervention strategies and goals.
Psycho-Spiritual – An orientation that takes into account both the psychosocial make-up of the client as well as their spiritual beliefs. Characteristics associated with the concept of “something more” are utilized if the client does not have any spiritual belief or practice. Without spirituality, psychology cannot free us or lead us to the deepest truths about ourselves, and without psychology, spirituality can lead us to grandiosity, delusion, and an attempt to escape from reality. Both spirituality and psychology are necessary to help us cope with major changes and crises.
Psychological Well-Being – The foundation on which common notions of well-being are built; e.g., physical, emotional, and cognitive. The term is used to describe a person’s perspective (attitude towards circumstances) and perception (interpretation of circumstances). The latter is how we filter our experiences through coping mechanisms and form judgements based on belief and conditioning. For example, someone may appear to have, based on assessment from neutral observers, poor health, ongoing hardships, and a lot of pain in their life. But the person with the hardship and pain assesses their well-being as high, solely because of his attitude and perception of the situation; he has a focus of meaning and caring that helps him transcend his embodied limitations.
Quality of Life (QoL) – An expansion of our experience of well-being to include assessment of our resilience or ability to adapt to and accommodate change. It also includes our ability to access the necessary resources to thrive. QoL can be determined in terms of both external and internal factors and dynamics. Access to education, healthcare, clean water, and other basic needs related to food, shelter, and clothing define our QoL in terms of external factors. Fundamentally and intrinsically, QoL may be approached in terms of four aspects. These include agency (freedom to choose), access (to emotions and memories), attentiveness (attention to caring for something or someone), and awareness (specifically self awareness). Finally, and arguably most importantly, attitude (or perspective) is key to psychological well-being. Even in the most dire circumstances, one can make a choice to assess their quality of life as good based solely on assigning positive interpretive meaning to a given situation or, for that mater, life in general.
Schema – A pattern of thought or behavior that organizes categories of information and the relationships among them. We use schemata (plural of schema) to organize what we perceive subjectively. We then project what we experience and make it objective or real. In other terms, perception makes projection.
Selective Bias – As opposed to Selection Bias, which is a term used in statistical studies involving populations. The term selective bias is used to describe our primarily unconscious (though it may also include conscious) selecting out (omitting, minimizing, devaluing) facts, sensations, and feelings being presented for interpretation of an experience to avoid inner conflict. Selective biasing is especially prevalent when the information being presented to us threatens our assumptive world – those beliefs we hold dear, and which may threaten the foundation of our self-identity.
Self-Concept – Our sense of self-identity or the way we see ourselves. It relates to the consciousness of the “I am” experiencer. It is also associated with the underlying developmental dynamics embedded in our psyche that include more than just cognitive consciousness; i.e., our thinking self. In a holistic sense, self-concept is associated with the mind-body-spirit alongside socio-cultural and religious influences. Psychologist Carl Rogers defines self-concept in terms of 1) self-image, 2) self-esteem, and 3) the ideal self. Self-concept drivers are partially suppressed in the subconscious or buried deep and inaccessible in our unconsciousness.
Something More – This expression describes both a yearning for and experience of connecting through caring to something outside ourselves that makes us feel empowered or supported. Something more represents our consideration for spirituality. It relates to encountering meaning cognitively and caring emotionally. Something more is our special function in life, the reason(s) we were born, broadly speaking. Specifically speaking, the term relates to our subjective need to feel fulfilled in life, to be validated for our uniqueness and contributions, and to be of service to another and/or to a cause.
Spirituality – Spirituality is a broad concept with many perspectives. Generally, it includes a sense of connection to something more, to something larger than ourselves. It also usually involves a search for meaning and purpose in life. It is a universal human experience. Our personal spirituality may or may not be connected to religion. Additionally, spirituality is associated with issues regarding trust, vulnerability, and authenticity. It is also related to yielding to forces greater than ourselves when introduced or discussed in services offered through this site. Spirituality refers to the way we seek and experience connection to the moment, to ourselves, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred; i.e. “something more.”
Suffering – The term suffering is used to describe what we often do unwittingly to exacerbate our pain. Suffering is avoidable and is usually related to unhealthy aspects of our psychological make-up, past experiences, or maladaptive behavior, for instance. Suffering can be lessened. Among the most effective ways is focusing on someone or something outside of our limiting sense of self. Another is through resolving inner conflict due to guilt and shame.
Vigilant (Vigilance) – Alertness and watchfulness. This term is used to describe intention and attention associated with the decision maker. Ongoing vigilance is required when dealing with decisions around life changing events. It can be said that there are two forces that draw us forward or compel us: fear and love. Of the two, fear is the more seductive, but love is the stronger. It takes a lot of vigilance (awareness) of this tension and a continual mindfulness to choose love, connection, and extension over and against the seductive force of fear. Being vigilant is a task of the decision maker.
Well-being – A state of mind, mood, and sensation in which a person feels content and fulfilled with his or her life. Well-being is also feeling a sense of connection to meaning, purpose, and belonging. As the quote by Atul Gawande on the home page states, “Well-being is about the reasons one wishes to be alive.” In this fundamental sense, well-being is existential. Experiencing well-being is ultimately a psychological state of consciousness that includes self-identity in its most exalted sense; i.e., identification with, awareness of, and emotional dependence upon connection through extension of self through caring and inter-relating.
Wellness – Both a journey and a destination. The term wellness may also be viewed as an intent and focus to practice habits and engage life in a manner leading to a sense of wholeness and balance. When the results sought for through wellness practices are achieved; i.e., one arrives at their intended goal or destination, wellness and well-being can be thought of as being synonymous.